The Film Noir Experience

I know I only have, what, 2 actual returning readers, and if so I'm sure you're reading about the same things over and over and over again.  I seem to talk about the same things a lot.  I don't know.  I seem to figure things out and then forget things and have to figure things out again.  And, every time I figure something out it hits me and it seems like a revelation and I have to tell everyone about it.

My friend Stephanie was in London about a month ago and I went to see her while she was there. She told me about a book she had read about a woman who got divorced and then went on a little road trup and figured some things out.  I'll see if I can't find out what the book is called.  Anyway, Stephy said that one of this woman's revelations was that the reason why people tend to be so unhappy is that there is something they really reallywant to do, and they just aren't doing it.  Something they want to do and are capable of doing, I might add.  I was reading a few of my favorite blogs today, more on these to come, and it occurred to me that I was incredibly envious of them because they were doing what I want to do.  They are writing and having their stuff looked at on a regular basis.  I want to write and have stuff looked at on a regular basis.  And, there's nothing stopping me from doing so.  I'm even paying for space to do so, but I'm just not doing it on a regular basis.  Why am I not doing it? I have tons of material.  I'm an American living abroad.  I could write about that experience.  I could write about Wales.  I could write about Graduate school or my masters or about getting married.  But, am I?  No.  Instead I'm having weird little freak outs about not having time to do anything I want to do and not being able to get anything done when clearly this is not the case.  I was able to move in with John, (another topic I could be writing about) I was able to get into the masters program I'm in, I was able to complete the diploma stage and pick an interesting dissertation topic.  I'm clearly capable of making things happen, mostly I think I just have to stop thinking about it.  And, on that note, I'm going to go back to working on my dissertation for a little bit and then We'll see what happens.