No, That is a mole hill.
So, back in the day I used to have something that I called the 10% rule. This is how the 10% rule works: I can make the world a better place. I can make the world a better place by being a better me just 10% of the time. This starts with two things: 1. Instead of getting mad and punishing myself every time I do something wrong, I should accept that a I have made a mistake and look for the best ways to solve the problem. 2. To be more observant. This second thing I came to by reasoning that if I were 10% more observant throughout the day I would notice more things. I would notice more people smiling. I would notice more laughing. I would notice when other people were belittling themselves (and then, just maybe, choose to cut them some slack if they needed it). I would notice more of things going wrong at the beginning and would then have the choice of whether to ignore them or fix them before they became well and truly fine messes. This would make my day brighter, which in turn would make me more relaxed and friendly and would effect how other people acted around me and reacted to me. And, that would make my world a better place and since I share that world with other people maybe I'd be able to pass on some good mojo and that would make their world's better. And, since this was something I was trying to do everyday, I wanted it to become habit so that the first 10% would grow and grow and grow so that eventually the 10% was 30% compared to when I started.
That might sound a little sugary, new agey, too good to be true. But, I don't care how it sounds. I think when we focus our energy, our intent on something we help it manifest. The mind is a very powerful thing, and if you let it be filled with images and ideas of hate and anger that's all you get, hate and anger. However, this is off-topic.
I don't know what exactly happened with the 10% rule, but I want it back. I want it back because I've spent the last hour or so working on a possible PhD proposal and then, halfway through it I had a mini-attack of...well, not really panic, but that feeling you get when you know you're completely and utterly defeated. I was thinking, "Why am I doing this? I'll never find funding...blah, blah, blah." But, that isn't true. Its not that I can't find funding, its that I haven't yet found funding. I've been focusing on the negative, stupid little bullshit things instead of focusing on the good things. I've been looking at molehills and thinking, "What am I going to do about that!?!?"
I've been silly, really.
I want my rule back.
