The Film Noir Experience

Brain: Hey, Sinus Cavity, would you mind not leaning so much this way, I'm feeling a little pressure back here.

Sinus Cavity: THE MUCUOUS IS EVERYWHERE! OH MY GOD I AM COVERED IN IT! THIS IS SO GROSS. ARGHH! I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FREAKING....I MEAN, GOD! YUCK! WHERE DOES THIS STUFF COME FROM?!?!

Brain: Okay, I can see you're having issues today, I'll just talk to nasal passages and maybe the eustachion tubes, that's fine. Don't stress, neon green's a good color for you.

::Brain backs away slowly::

Hey, nose. You couldn't see fit to, I don't know, blow or something and release some of the pressure up here, could you? We're feeling a little cramped.

Nose: No. Has vista ese mierda? No voy a tocarlo. Nuh-uh. Prefiero besar la culo de su Mama.

Brain: You are so foul-mouthed, I mean really. Where did you learn that? And, worthless, I could have the hand meet you with a tissue and the lungs to give you an extra push, its not like you would actually have to do any work.

Nose: No Tengo que trabajo, porque soy muy bonita. Mira mis anillos. Y tu? Que haces? huh? piensas? Pfft. Puedo pensar si quiero.

Brain: Fuck off. I can speak like, six languages and balance a check book. Like a care if you're pierced.

Nose: No puedes contar "Welsh". solamenta siete ciento miles hablan ese lenguaje. Hay mas gente vota en sus eleciones por Reina de prom. Los Welsh piensa que su lengua cuenta, pero nadie no cuida que ellos piensan. Tambien, ellos no printan sus proprio dinero, usan el dinero de Inglaterra. Jodales. Si El Vaticano printa su proprio dinero, entonces los Welsh pueden printarlo tambien. Peredores.

Brain: Whoa, harsh. You know you live in Wales, right. You're going to get yourself broken with an attitude like that. And, I wouldn't hold the Vatican up as your shiny example of what a nation should be...they claim a dead language as one of their official tongues, remember. Oh, ya and have so much stolen knowledge from the past millenia that if we really want to learn anything new about the Ancient Greeks or Romans instead of finding new archeological sites, we should like, storm the Vatican.

Eustatichion Tubes: Parliano di il Vaticano? Il Papa e stano un Nazi, no?

Brain: Eusti! Ciao! Indeed, AND the Pope was a Nazi.

Nose: No me importa si el Papa es un maricon que prefiere ninos, No hablaba del Papa, hablaba de la Welsh.

Brain: Oh, I heard you, I just didn't care.

Nose: Tambien, no estoy hablando con ese wue los Eustachion Tubes. ::To the Eustachion Tubes:: Chingate, pendejo.

Eustachion Tubes: Mi vuoi bene, lo admiti.

Nose: Dije, "Chingate."

Eustachion Tubes: ::blows kisses at the nose::

Brain: I can see this is going nowhere. Tonsils, how are you?

Tonsils: Confused. Is that proper Spanish or is someone being an asshat?

Brain: Someone is being an asshat.

Nose: Puedo oirte!

Eustachion Tubes: ti Ascolto.

Tonsils: I'm sure that's not what you've meant to say. The two of you. I'm mean really. Oh, by the way, we're swollen and someone should really take a look at the state of the throat.

Tongue: Ich Habe Einen Kleinen Problemo Avec Diese Religione. ::Tongue Giggles::

Brain: Thank you, Tongue, but I'm not sure this is the time for humor.

Skull: Mae pen tost gyda fi. ::cries::

Nose: Eso no es un lenguaje!

Brain: Skull, I know, sweetie, I'm working on it. NOSE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST GO BLOW YOURSELF!

Nose: Pero mas gente habla Klingon!

Throat: Oh, that ii it. Nose, Eustachion Tubes, Brain, EVERYONE! Are you listening?! I demand that I, in my swollen state that I not have to listen to this bickering anymore! I demand Painkillers and a decongestant! And Juice! And, if that goes well perhaps some soup. And a film in which there is a smart, funny, independent woman that frequently sticks her foot in her mouth.

Brain: So, you want to watch Bridget Jones?

Throat: Or Emma, if you don't mind.

Brain: I think we might be able to swing it.